


Running Low

by bisexualbarry



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Barry Allen Works For The SCPD, Break Up, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Singer Oliver Queen, Unhappy Ending, not much though because pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 04:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17480960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualbarry/pseuds/bisexualbarry
Summary: Oliver made his break into singing, but the cost was more than he was expecting.





	Running Low

**Author's Note:**

> one of these days i will edit again before posting.................today is not that day, lmao
> 
> this fic is a mess, though, _whew_
> 
> to make a little more sense before reading, barry was 18 and oliver was 22 when they got together
> 
>  
> 
> [this fic is based on this song. i have lyrics throughout the fic, but this song!! makes me cry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mT36HTUDRoA)

_Weeks on end, I'm on the road_    
_I start to lose my sense of home_    
_I should've called so many times_    
_But I just sat next to my phone_

**~*~**

When they had first met, Oliver hadn’t been doing anything more than posting a few covers on YouTube. Barry had been invited to do a collab, and the two had hit it off extremely well. Iris had joked at the time that they would end up married by the end of the year. However, instead of doing just that, they danced around one another for a few months before Barry worked up the courage to ask him out on a date. Oliver had accepted quickly, and their relationship soared from there.

Even from the side, Iris could tell how deeply they had fallen for each other. Iris’s marriage teasing grew more and more serious as the years went on. Barry knew she meant well, but Oliver had only recently turned twenty-five, and Barry himself was only twenty-one. As much as they liked the idea of marriage, they didn’t want to rush into it. Not to say it was off the table completely, though.

Around their three-year anniversary, a recording company reached out and got ahold of Oliver about recording something professionally. Both men were over the moon. After all the hard work they put into Oliver’s channel (Barry had shut his down after he moved in with Oliver. His channel was nothing more than casual posting, whereas Oliver always hoped for something more), having a record company contact them was extremely good news. As celebration for their success and being together for three years, they went out for dinner before coming home and celebrating in the bedroom.

Oliver had his first EP recorded within four months of the company reaching out.

Barry, naturally, promoted it as much as he possibly could. With both his lingering following and Oliver’s own ever-growing supporters, they managed to get it in the top twenty. To an outsider, it may not have been much, but for Oliver’s first album, they considered it a success in their books.

By the time Oliver was twenty-seven and Barry twenty-three, he had his first full album out.

**~*~**

_Just know it takes it for me_    
_To end this, darling, oh_

**~*~**

Oliver didn’t tour too much at first. Barry was already used to Oliver being gone for weeks at a time from the occasional times Oliver went as a popular YouTuber. They knew how to juggle their relationship with him being gone and Barry still being in Starling and working as a CSI. Iris had voiced her concerns time and time again about it not being fair to Barry, seeing as he was always the one stuck at home while Oliver was off on the road.

Barry knew Oliver would take him with in a heartbeat. _He knew that_. But not being able to get _that_ much time off combined with wanting Oliver to follow his dreams, Barry never argued the point much. And he told Iris as much, and it seemed to calm her down enough to get her off his back and stop pushing the issue. Again, Barry knew she meant well. With her own prospering relationship with Eddie Thawne, Barry was fully aware she wanted them both to be happy with their respective relationships.

Barry was, and would forever be happy in his relationship with Oliver. No matter what anybody thought.

**~*~**

_And I know you’ll find someone who_    
_Gives you the time I didn’t give to you_    
_I’m running low_    
_I’m sorry, but I have to go_

**~*~**

Skype calls were their normal during tour days. As much as Barry wanted to be able to cuddle with his boyfriend, talking to him, at the very least, got him through the night most of the time. His boyfriend was living his dream, and Barry listened to his songs whenever he got the chance. Oliver’s voice was soothing, and when he had his headphones on and his eyes closed, Barry felt like he was singing right into his ear. Back before Oliver got signed, they used to lay in bed late at night, and Oliver would sing soft melodies to him as they fell asleep. It always helped him when Barry was having a particularly hard night. Like the night of the tenth anniversary of Nora Allen’s death. Barry woke up in a sweat, crying and mumbling about his mother, and Oliver held him and sang to him until Barry was calm enough to fall back asleep.

Barry was alone for the fifteenth anniversary.

Oliver was touring his second album, and Barry had yet again elected to stay home while Oliver did his thing. To be quite fair on Oliver’s part, he wasn’t necessarily required to remember the date of Barry’s mother’s death. Back when he was at home more often than not, Oliver always made sure they visited her on the day, and they’d spend the rest of it doing something so Barry wouldn’t think about it. It didn’t hurt nearly as much as it used to, but big anniversaries always had a habit of sneaking up on him.

Barry had a rough day at work. A big murder case of a drug deal gone wrong, so he had passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow. While his conscious hadn’t even remembered the date, his subconscious clearly did. Similar to on the tenth anniversary, Barry woke up in a sweat. It was only nine pm, so he fumbled for his phone, scrolling through his contacts until he got to Oliver’s name.

Oliver didn’t answer the first time. Or even the second time. After the third call to voicemail, Barry gave up and grabbed a pair of headphones. Putting all of Oliver’s songs on shuffle, Barry closed his eyes, and slowly relaxed.

In the morning, Barry had some missed calls and a couple texts from both Oliver and Iris. At some point in the night, Oliver seemed to have remembered the date and was clearly calling to check on him.

It then hit Barry that Oliver had a show last night, and it was why Oliver didn't answer the multiple times Barry called. Smiling a little, Barry called Oliver as he got out of bed.

 _“Barry,”_ Oliver answered immediately, sounding a little like he had yet to sleep. _“Baby, I’m so sorry.”_

“It’s alright, Ollie,” Barry interrupted before Oliver could get worked up. “I put my headphones in and listened to your music. It was almost like you were here with me.”

 _“I should’ve been there.”_ Oliver was quiet a moment, and Barry could picture him running a hand through his hair like he tended to do when he was upset when himself. _“Barry, I should’ve tried rescheduling the show yesterday-”_

“Ollie, I didn’t even remember until I woke up from the nightmare. Seriously, it’s okay.” Barry bit his bottom lip. As used to it as he may be, being away from Oliver still got hard. His heart always ached for his lover, and he knew Oliver felt the same way. His fans could very easily be none the wiser, but Barry was fully aware he was the topic of a lot of Oliver’s songs.

 _“I love you, Barry.”_ Oliver’s voice was soft, and it brought a light flush to Barry’s cheeks. No matter how many years, or how often it was said, it never failed to send Barry’s heart racing.

“I love you, too, Ollie.”

**~*~**

_And maybe I will never feel_    
_You gave me something so real_    
_I’m running low_    
_I’m sorry, but I have to go_

**~*~**

Barry would be lying if he said it wasn’t hard. Because it was, and incredibly so. He would always lie to Oliver because finally, after so many years, was doing something he was so passionate about. Oliver supported Barry when the younger was studying to become a CSI, so it was only fair that Barry do the same. Oliver liked to argue that Barry had been supporting him from even before they met, but Barry always liked going above and beyond for his loved ones.

Oliver was able to make it back for Iris’s wedding. Oliver knew Eddie well enough from his trips home for holidays or in between albums and touring that both Eddie and Iris were delighted by seeing him there. Their wedding was, unfortunately, during the latter half of Oliver’s current tour, but he was able to find enough time to fly home. Barry himself was a bit surprised, but he welcomed him home with open arms.

During the time that Oliver was home, Barry rarely let the older man out of his sight. It happened every single time Oliver was home, but it never lost its marvel on Barry on having his boyfriend curled around him as they slept. Oliver didn’t stay for long this time around, he _was_ in the middle of a tour after all, and it seemed harder for Barry letting go of him again when he just came home.

**~*~**

_Thinking back to every night_    
_That we just laid there for a while_    
_And when I looked into your eyes_    
_I thought I’d never say goodbye_

**~*~**

They had a bad argument.

If Barry was being completely honest, he couldn’t even fully remember what it was over. In all honesty, it was probably over Oliver admitting he had already started recording his third album, despite promising Barry that he was taking a year break so the two of them could spend more than a month or so at a time together. Oliver hung up on Barry, and Barry was struggling not to break down and call him back, beg him to reconsider. Anything, really, if it meant Oliver not being mad at him.

They argued, sure. Every couple had their fair share of disagreements, but they were usually able to work through the issue before it got anywhere near the level this one had been at. The very thought that Oliver was steaming over this entire conversation made Barry’s entire being feel like it was made of glass. Anything said or done, and he would shatter.

Biting his bottom lip roughly, Barry sat down on the edge of the bed, his phone turning in his hands. The screen was still dark, as if it were taunting Barry with its lack of response from Oliver.

There were noticeable tears slowly making their way down Barry’s face, so he squeezed his eyes shut in hopes that it would stop the slowly increasing rate. It didn’t seem to work, so Barry opened his eyes again, taking a shaky breath as he stared blankly in front of him.

Unaware of how much time had passed, Barry was shaken from his stupor when his phone suddenly chimed.

 ** _[From: Oliver_**    
**_I’m sorry, I love you.]_**

**~*~**

_Just know it takes it for me_    
_To end this, darling, oh_

**~*~**

No matter what happened between them, Barry was always willing to go to the ends of the Earth for those he loved and cared about. Oliver being the biggest example of that.

Barry was able to get an extended weekend off, so he decided to surprise Oliver at his nearby show. Oliver’s manager, Laurel, knew of Barry well, and didn’t even blink when he suddenly popped in backstage. Apparently, the guard was someone who was a friend of Joe’s, and recognized Barry and let him in. The fact Laurel didn’t even question how Barry was able to get in without a pass slightly concerned Barry, but it vanished when he saw Oliver sitting on a couch backstage.

“Hey, Ollie.”

Oliver’s head snapped up, and a smile graced his face as the fact Barry was standing in front of him sunk in. He was quick to stand up and pull Barry into a sweet kiss. “What are you doing here?”

“I was able to get some time off, and since you were close enough, I decided to surprise you,” Barry answered, smiling wide. “I haven’t been able to see you preform for a while, so I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

“I don’t. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Watching Oliver onstage always gave Barry goosebumps no matter how many times it happened. Oliver seemed to seek him out a lot, and it made Barry blush whenever he looked his way. Barry was too far for Oliver to do more than seek him out, but it still brought butterflies to Barry’s stomach.

Oliver wasn’t a huge artist by any means, but he still had a decent enough following that the arena they had was comfortably full. Oliver never seemed to mind how big his music got over the years; he was more there to make music. He always had the time of his life onstage.

Later that night, with Barry resting his head on Oliver’s chest as the older man slept peacefully, Barry couldn’t help but let out a soft sigh. “Happy fifteen years,” he whispered into the dark.

**~*~**

_And I know you’ll find someone who_    
_Gives you the time I didn’t give to you_    
_I’m running low_    
_I’m sorry, but I have to go_

**~*~**

“You guys have been together for fifteen years, and he has yet to make indication that he wants to make things more permanent with you?” Iris cornered him one day at work. It had been roughly a month since Barry’s impromptu trip to see Oliver, and she was fully aware of Barry’s intentions behind it. So she was fully aware at how hurt Barry felt at Oliver forgetting.

“I mean, he’s forgotten before when he’s been on tour,” Barry excused. “Like he forgot our sixth. And then our eleventh. Maybe our thirteenth, too.”

“Barry, this was a big one, though,” Iris said quietly. “Fifteen years? That’s a long time, Bear.”

Barry was quiet a moment, staring down at his desk. Finally, he let out a soft sigh. “You don’t think I know that?” His voice was just above a whisper, afraid if he spoke any louder, their conversations undertones would come true.

He sat down on his stool, mindlessly twirling a pen in his hands. He heard Iris’s heels clack on the concrete as she walked closer to him, and put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.

Barry wanted to ignore what Iris was getting at. If he was being perfectly honest, he would ignore it forever if he could. But he didn’t have forever, and he knew at some point he would have to talk to Oliver about all of this, and hope and pray they were still on the same page about everything.

“I can’t lose him, Iris,” Barry whispered, setting his hand on top of hers.

“I know.”

**~*~**

_And maybe I will never feel_    
_You gave me something so real_    
_I’m running low_    
_I’m sorry, but I have to go_

**~*~**

In his defense, Barry had been fully intending on talking to Oliver once he was done with his tour. He also knew for a fact Oliver wouldn’t be touching a fourth album for a while, so he allowed himself to give into the urge that ran desperately throughout his veins.

Oliver seemed to have a similar desperation, if they way he urged Barry into their bedroom was anything to go by. Barry didn’t mind. Oliver’s mouth was familiar and still as tempting, easily falling into temptation and allowing himself to fall into bed with the older man.

When they were both sated and happy, lying next to each other freshly cleaned and relaxed under the sheets, Barry turned and looked at Oliver. “Any particular reason you were feeling particularly desperate today?”

Chuckling softly, Oliver turned his head to look at Barry. “Iris called me. I’m so sorry I forgot our anniversary.”

“I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t be, though.” Oliver sat up, prompting Barry to sit up as well. “I’ve been nothing but taking and taking, and it isn’t fair to you. I love you so utterly much, and I want you to have the best life possible.”

“Ollie, I love my life with you,” Barry insisted, grabbing Oliver’s hand and loosely tangling their fingers together. “It may not be entirely ideal, but I love you, Ollie. I’m willing to do this with you.”

“It’s not really a life with me if I’m not home often,” Oliver whispered, making Barry’s heart ache. “I released my first album when I was twenty-seven. Now I’m ten years older, and I’m not much happier.”

“Ollie, this is what you’ve always wanted, though. To do music. To be on a stage.”

“But it’s costing me you.” Oliver gently cupped Barry’s face, bringing him in for a kiss. “Laurel keeps insisting that people always find a balance between work and personal, and I’m ashamed to admit I’m not any closer to figuring that out.”

“Then we’ll do it together, Ollie. One day at a time, like we’ve been doing.” Barry gave him a smile. “You’re my soulmate, Ollie. And you’re doing something you’ve always wanted to. How can I be angry about that?”

“I don’t deserve you, Barry Allen.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that you do?” Barry teased, kissing Oliver again. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Barry. So much.”

**~*~**

_Just needed time to find my own_    
_But I promise someone will give you all you want_    
_Can give you all you need_    
_And you just_ _gotta_ _see_    
_I never meant to hurt you, no_

**~*~**

Oliver ended up taking two years off before releasing his next album. Barry remembered Oliver saying before he had no interest in releasing more than five albums, so he didn’t mind the lull in release.

The break, in all honesty, didn’t help them too much. They had lost the rhythm they once had, when Oliver was still posting covers on YouTube. They did manage to find a bit of a routine, though, but it was never too fulfilling. Every date and kiss started feeling more and more like they were filling a requirement instead of doing it because they wanted to.

The last birthday they spent together was Oliver’s thirty-ninth.

**~*~**

_And I know you’ll find someone who_    
_Gives you the time I didn’t give to you_    
_I’m running low_    
_I’m sorry, but I have to go_

**~*~**

In all fairness, neither of them wanted it to end. Barry had been serious when he told Oliver he was his soulmate, and he fully believed every word they shared in that conversation. It had been Oliver’s idea, in the end. As he always told Barry,

“You deserve someone who can be there for you all the time.”

**~*~**

_And maybe I will never feel_    
_You gave me something so real_    
_I’m sorry, but I have to go_

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](http://bibibarry.tumblr.com)   
>  [my instagram](http://instagram.com/olivxrry)


End file.
